oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
