I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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