I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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