Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
