is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I think my moral compass just broke
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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