Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
