I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
