...so i touched it.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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