No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
