I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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