I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
