dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
