I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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