Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think your dad took our porno
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
