Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
