I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
