Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
