So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
