Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
