I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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