Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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