I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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