I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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