You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
