i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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