I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
