I'm jealous of your bromance
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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