We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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