"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
