I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
