We're facebook friends in real life
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
