he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
