You're so nebulous sometimes
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
