Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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