last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
