They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
