at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
