R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
