I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
