omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
