we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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