I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
