remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
