based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
