How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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