I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
