I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
be right there i have to get my cape
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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