i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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