so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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