xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
