drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
